Two weeks left

I return to work in two weeks. That seems so unreal to me. I am trying to plan ahead for that day. I've started reading articles and some of my calculations and notes to brush up on the mental part of the job. I am a little scared! I don't want to go in rusty- those tiny babies need me to be prepared. I really look forward to seeing my co-workers and giving my 100% to my teensiest patients when I'm there. I'm grateful to have a job that I really love.

I've got a freezer full of milk, praising God for that- it takes a huge emotional stress off my shoulders. I need to get Charlie's daycare stuff ready- his registration packet, his bottle labels, his items that will stay at school. My heart is pounding, and I'm anxious and sad just thinking about leaving him. It's going to be so hard!

He is really bad at eating from a bottle, but sweet Mary Lou worked with him on Saturday and gave me a lot of helpful techniques to work with him. I am hopeful that we'll master the alternative feeding method before I have to leave my sweet baby.

I'm also sad to leave Jack again. He'll have a blast with his friends, I'm sure. They told me to send him back in just undies with plenty of changes of clothes and that potty-training would be mastered there (hallelujah chorus!).

There are several things that ease my mind so much as I prepare for April 18

1. Knowing what is ahead. With Jack I had no idea what daycare and returning to work would be like. I didn't know the ladies who would be caring for him. This time around, Charlie will have the same sweet women loving on him that Jack did, and they love those babies like they are their own. I remember mastering feedings, getting ready for the day, and the tricks of time-management. It just helps a ton that I've already been down this road. It will be just as hard if not harder than before emotionally, but the kinks have been worked out.

2. It's extremely helpful that my work day stops at 5-ish rather than 7:23 at the earliest. Those 2+ hours make a huge difference in so many ways.

3. I think the biggest blessing came when I applied for my job back in May: I have been given a great gift by my husband and my supervisors to be able to work less. I will work 3/4 time, and I cannot thank them enough! I am so incredibly grateful! I wanted part-time before I knew I was pregnant with Charlie. Actually I've wanted part-time since I was pregnant with Jack 3 years ago! My supervisor and I decided February 1st would be the date I would be ready to change from full-time to part-time, once I had been in the unit for 6 months after orientation and had really gotten my feet wet. Weeks later I found out I was pregnant and that my due date was February 1st. I laughed at the neat sovereignty of God. He knew. That amazes me. Like I said, I'm so blessed to have a job that I love, and it makes it even better that I can have more energy for both my family and my job. Best of both worlds if that's possible.

So for the next two weeks I will be whole-heartedly invested in my babies. Good grief, my heart hurts. Please pray for all of us as we prepare.